Surprise! Unexpected, not unwanted
You know how some movies start by showing the end of the movie and then work backwards to how they got there? Yea, this is not one of those blogs.
For years I was told the possibility of me having children was highly unlikely due to the structure of my Fallopian tubes. My mother, whom I do not speak to for reason I may dig into a later date (mommy issues), was known to have endometriosis and had to have a full hysterectomy at only 30. Lucky me, the one thing she contributed to my life was some jacked up reproductive organs. Cj & I had discussed the potential of never having children and we were completely okay with the fact that we would be doggie parents for the rest of our lives (I mean seriously, she is the most perfect creature).
We were pretty content in our own little world. We were high school sweethearts, graduated from Purdue, and started our careers. We upgraded from the typical crappy college apartment to an overpriced house in wannabe suburbia and loved every minute of it. We enjoyed our weekends: drinking way too much on Saturday nights and spending Sunday’s half dead on the couch - swearing we’d never drink again. It was the life I always wanted and I got to share it with my best friend in the world.
Time passed and Cj asked me to marry him. I was on could nine - I couldn’t believe I could be this lucky. For some reason, though, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t shake the image of Cj being a dad. With every milestone it would run through my mind again - “some baby is going to miss out on this man being his/her daddy.” I felt as if I were doing the world a disservice for keeping him from that role. People still ask me - “well didn’t you know you wanted to be a mommy?” No Linda, I did not. I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life drinking until I was stupid and climbing the corporate ladder so high I busted right on through the glass ceiling.
It wasn’t until 2 months before our wedding that I realized life had other plans for me. After being terrified of seeing an gynecologist, I made an appointment (and actually showed up! kudos to me!). She checked me, chatted with me, and after a short eval she knew exactly what she wanted to do. If we ever wanted the option of having a baby, we need to have surgery. She told me to think on it - surgery was a big deal and that I should explore my options, but anyone who knows me knows I do not need time to think about something that just makes sense. I deserved the option to have a baby someday. Cj deserved the option to have a baby someday WE deserved the option to be parents together. So that was it - we were having surgery!
In March I had the procedure done to open up my Fallopian tubes and clear the cysts/scar tissue. Cj and I got married May 12th and had the most perfect day and honeymoon after. The day we returned I swore I came back from Mexico with the flu...
SURPRISE! We were going to be parents.
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