Know-It-All Nancy

There is nothing I hate more than a human who feels the need to:

1. Piss on your joy
&
2. Tell you the rules of parenting

I’m sorry - did I miss the “parenting 101” book we are required to study and follow through this journey? Because Nancy over here seems to have studied this thing twice over and got an A+ for sure. NO. No one wants to hear your opinion on the “right” way to do things. We are all out here just trying to figure it out one day at a time. So when Know-It-All-Nancy and her band of followers tells me I’m supposed to wait until 12 weeks to announce our pregnancy...

We tell everyone at 6 weeks in and don’t even think twice.

The first ultrasound we had was a turning point for me in my “delayed joy” journey. At first, nothing really changed because it just looked like a little odd shaped peanut and I was not impressed. But from the moment they turned up the volume and I heard that little heartbeat for the first time - so tiny and vulnerable - my heart was torn in a 3rd chunk and I knew from that moment forward I was carrying the love of my life. We announced in this super cute “Happy Father’s Day” way that was just perfect because Cj had been nothing but over the moon since day 1 and could not wait to yell it from the rooftops.

Then, naturally, I had to tell my boss. And our friends. And our family. And honestly it was all exhausting. I wanted nothing more than to mail everyone a post card that said something super cheesy like “in 30 weeks I’m going off the grid to birth a human. See ya when I get back”. But unfortunately there’s that dang rule book Nancy wrote that I have to follow. Darn.

We told our parents first. We ordered some ridiculous stuff off of Amazon (order them here)  to announce to them with - a shirt for Cj’s mom that said “You’re going to be a grandma” and for my mom (not the biological mom I referred to in the last few articles - confusing, I know)  that said “only the best moms get promoted to grandma”. Or something along those lines. It wasn’t until after we announced to them that I realized how funny these rules and traditions really are -

“Hey mom, we just got married 4 weeks ago and were drunk for an entire week in Mexico but we were actually pregnant the whole time”. All the while I’m just over here hoping I didn’t already physically screw our kid up before I even have a chance to screw her up psychologically. Regardless of the weird traditions, the announcements went better than expected and we now had another item checked off our to-do list.

Finally, I told my boss in what turned out to be the most interesting of the conversations. For those of you reading who don’t know what I do for a living, let me give some context. I graduated with a management degree from Purdue and now work in a sales role as an Account Manager in the fleet industry. My days are spent meeting with high level c-suite execs who often disregard women as avid sales people and often I use that card to my advantage. (Sorry, feminists, don’t hate me.) I am the only female employee on our sales team - so, obviously the “hey, I’m pregnant” chat was not one he was used to having.

The conversation went something like:

H: Hey Todd, grab a cup of coffee I have something I want to tell you.
T: Oh god, you’re pregnant.
H: .......
T: Well that’s cool I thought you were quitting. How much longer do we have until maternity leave?
H: I’m only 6 weeks pregnant. So, we’ve got a ton of time still.
T: You know you’re supposed to wait until 12 weeks to tell people, right?

Obviously Todd had also read Nancy’s rule book.