A Fork in the Road

Sometimes the perfect pretty picture you envision for your life strays the path a little bit. Or maybe even a lot a bit. There are casualties caused by paths no longer heading in the same direction, or jealousy, or even for no reason at all. Some friends are mere stepping stones in this journey through life and others are more of a solid foundation on which you can build and change and they will grow with you. I’m a firm believer that both kinds of friends are necessary. 

People change and that’s okay. It would be easy to get angry at the friend who chooses to no longer speak to you because you are having a baby. It would be easy to be sad about the family member who doesn’t show up to visit your son/daughter or even call to check to see how you are doing. It would be easy to continue wasting your time and energy focusing on all of the wrong things instead of using that energy to focus on 1. The people who always make sure you are whole. And 2. That beautiful human you are growing inside of you. 

It took me time to realize these things. Trust me, when a friend very close to my heart disappeared out of thin air once she heard I was pregnant - I was pissed. And confused. And sad. And I am not exaggerating when I say I literally went through the stages of grief for our ended friendship. Then one day I woke up and felt peace knowing that no matter who leaves me in this life - this human I am carrying will never leave me. He/she will be with me always - and that love was enough to get through anything. 

You know the saying “when one door closes another door opens”? Yea, cliche. Sorry people, get used to it. I really believe there is some major truth to it. If that door would not have closed, I would never have realized what a true friendship looked like. Remember above how I said some friendships are a foundation on which you can build, change, and grow - totally true. I would have never have let my now best friend (and godmother of our baby - but we will get to that in later article) so close if the other would not have walked away. Some of you reading are probably identifying these people in your head and I 100% hope you have them. But some of them can also be easy to mistake and I want you to be prepared for a devil in disguise and think of the following when picking them out. Does this friend:

1. Put your needs before theirs at least 50% of the time 
2. Compromise on the small things: where to eat, etc 
3. Ask your opinion and truly value it 
4. Pick you up when you are down no matter what it takes
5. Give you the honest truth, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it 

If yes to all 5, you may have that foundation friend. If not, you may want to reevaluate who you keep nearest your heart but remember that both kinds of friends are important. When I was just 10 weeks pregnant I was faced with this fork in the road and I am so very thankful today where the path has taken me. 

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